My take on the Cyprus issue

Motto: "Anything Greece can do, we can do...also and better

Cyprus is the centre of international peace and harmony. Apart from some minor political squabbles and ethnic pillow fights in prehistoric times, the iron age, classical times, hellenic times, the middle ages, 1800s, 1878, 1912-13, 1922, 1931 (oktovriana), 1940-1944, 1950s, 1960s, the 1963-1964 killings, 1970s, coup of 1973, invasion of 1974,1980s, November 1983, and 1990s, the island has remained peaceful and entirely in one piece since its establishment a long, long time ago.
The current president of Cyprus is Demetris (Voukkoues) Christofias, who is a bolshevik and taught Lenin how to make frapee coffee. Ever since the Russians have been sending us T-80 tanks at half the price. It is now possible to distinguish cypriot and russian jets and armor because they all have a cup holder. It is especially useful to cypriot soldiers, since their tanks don't really take part in combat. They are usually taken for a ride around the army barracks, and twice a year they go around the city for the parades and stuff, where politicians make people think they are AT-ATs and will crush any invader, since they were bought from Mother Russia for $111000 each. Their weapons are also tested three times a year in target practicing near populated areas.
Cyprus is divided by a line, which Cypriots usually like to call the GREEN line, due to the invasion of Turkey in 1974, aka operation greenpeace when they claimed to protect the rights of 'ambelopoulia' (field birds). Greek Cypriots protest this invasion to this date, stating they only wanted to see how many Turks they could fit in a hole (they always liked geometry). The occupied part of Cyprus depends on which side of the green line you're standing on. The United Nations of the World and the Union of Europeans recognizes the Greek part of Cyprus as the Legal State. The Turkish-Cypriot side, it is debatable if there are any Turkish-Cypriots actually left as they have been outnumbered by actual Turks, Turkish troops, Turkish belly dancers and Turkish baths, is considered to be nasty; claiming a state, the so called Northern Republic of Cyprus, recognized only by the Turkey, the Seagull, the Eagles, and other flying Members of the Animal Kingdom.


With thanks to uncyclopedia