The Cypriot economy is based mainly on ethnically sensitive products such as Non-Specified (formerly Turkish) Delight, a gelatinous substance extracted from the Mediterranean sea-bed; International Harmony (formerly Turkish) coffee, a thick petroleum replacement invented by Cypriot scientists in the 1920s; and Cyprus potatoes, along with a variety of broccoli originating from South America.
The Cyprus economy depends on British lads, that visit Cyprus holiday resorts for cheap beer and cigarettes. They tend to become stupendously drunk and lose their virginity to something that resembles a woman. This mainly occurs during summer in Ayia Napa (aka "The hooker of the Mediterranean"). Ayia Napa, greek for Saint Napa, is the patron saint of munging and the Land Shark. Ayia Napa comes second worldwide only to Mykonos in number of gays, lesbians, drunks, devirginized women and heroin-users wandering the streets after 5:00 am. Welsh visitors seem to have a preference for the moufflon - the wild sheep particular to Cyprus. What the lads do not know is that the normal prices of cigarettes and alcohol in Cyprus are even cheaper than they think. Cypriot merchants take full advantage of their self-created 500% tourist tax (also known as pushto ingleso tax)
Furthermore, the Cyprus economy gains a great deal from bird lovers and charitable contributions by individuals, concerned about wildlife. The Cyprus Government has convinced the world public that if they do not donate the money needed to cover the national deficit, Cypriots will resort to eating small vineyard birds known as 'ampelopoulia'. These bird lovers, and especially the European Union, are so concerned about the fate of Tweetie that they fork out before the Cypriots get their forks out! If Greece had ampelopoulia, they too would be swimming in money, but tough shit.
Another important economic factor in Cyprus, is the exports. Cyprus has a very fertile area that grows potatoes, known as Kokkinochoria, or the Red Villages. Most of the people that are part of the Kokkinochoria region grow potatoes, which are usually destroyed by hailstorms and drought. They live on the apozimiosi tis kivernisis(compensation of the government), and claim that it is too little, because it is not enough to buy land near the GSP Stadium
At least 50% of the GDP comes from soft-ripened cheese famous for its pungeant odor called Halloumi. Halloumi is a strong cheese that goes well with red wine or petrol.
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